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Finding Strength Through Adversity: My Mental Health Journey
Sallyann Mellor
Mental health is complex, deeply personal, and shaped by the experiences we carry. My journey has been one of survival, learning, and ultimately, self-acceptance. It took years for me to truly understand mental health and even longer to embrace my own struggles without shame.
How It Began
Growing up, life was challenging. Coming from a working-class background had its own struggles but supporting my mother while caring for my disabled sister and avoiding an abusive stepfather made it even harder. From a young age, I poured myself into doing my best, hoping to win his love and acceptance, despite the abuse I endured. But no matter how much I tried, I was never enough.
As a child, I was sexually abused, an experience I buried deep within myself. I did everything to lock it away, until I had my first child. The overwhelming instinct to protect my newborn brought everything to the surface, and I could no longer ignore the wounds I had hidden for so long.
At 16, I left home to escape the abuse and trauma. Looking after myself wasn’t daunting, I had been taking care of my sister for years, and independence felt like second nature. But nothing could have prepared me for the moment when my brother took his own life. The shock and grief were indescribable, yet I had no idea how to process them.
The Impact on My Well-Being
In the aftermath of my brother’s passing, I once again stepped into a caretaker role, supporting my mother while she struggled to cope. At the time, I didn’t recognise that I was neglecting my own grief. Four years later, it hit me like a wrecking ball, knocking me off my feet.
I became severely depressed. Anxiety consumed me. The confidence I had always carried disappeared overnight, and I struggled even to get out of bed. I cried constantly, withdrew from everything, and stopped taking care of myself. Eventually, I went to see my GP, who listened to me with compassion and prescribed antidepressants.
My journey with medication wasn’t smooth. Back then, mental health was still a taboo subject, and admitting to taking antidepressants felt like admitting weakness. I repeatedly stopped taking them, ashamed of needing help, only to spiral further. The truth was, I didn’t understand mental health, and for a long time, that lack of knowledge made healing impossible.
Managing My Mental Health
Years later, I finally understand my mental health and how to manage it. I no longer feel ashamed of taking medication, I embrace it. Why should I be ashamed? It helps me function at my best, just like any other medication prescribed for a health condition.
Beyond medication, I have learned to recognise the signs when I start dipping and adjust accordingly. I structure my days carefully because routine is everything. Ice baths, weight training, these are my anchors. The days I don’t train are the days I feel less positive.
One of my greatest sources of comfort has been horses. Their presence, their smell, their breathing, it all brings me peace. Being around them is like looking into their souls, and in those moments, I feel truly connected.
I’ve tried many counsellors, but for years, I wasn’t ready to face my demons. The fear of reliving the past kept me from seeking help, but eventually, I found therapies that worked for me, light therapy and hypnotherapy. With time, I learned that the past does not define me; it belongs where it needs to be.
What I’ve Learned
Everyone’s journey is different, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing. I used to believe that time alone would heal me, but now I understand that healing is about learning how to manage your emotions without shame.
If you are struggling with mental health, please know:
1. Your past does not define you. No matter what you have been through, you are your own person, capable of growth and happiness.
2. There is no shame in seeking help. Whether through therapy, medication, or simply speaking to someone, it is never a sign of weakness.
3. Find what works for you. Some find solace in structure, exercise, or nature, others in conversation, creativity, or solitude. There is no wrong way to heal.
4. You are worthy. Mental health struggles do not diminish your worth; if anything, overcoming them shows incredible strength.
Final Thoughts
Looking back, I see the strength I never knew I had. The hardest days taught me the most important lessons, about resilience, about acceptance, and about choosing to live, even in the face of darkness.
If you take one thing from my story, let it be this: you are not your past, and you are stronger than you think.
Community has helped me in my recovery and my journey, seeing others share their experiences has made me realise that I am not alone and has encouraged me to share my story for that very reason.
Sallyann Mellor
SQE Private Tutor and Preparatory Course Provider
Mellor SQE Preparation Courses/Tutor and Coaching Services
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sallyann-mellor-422353260/
May 2025