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Balancing career and family life
Dr Svetlana Nasibyan talks to Legal Women about balancing motherhood, managing wellbeing and thriving in the workplace.
In 2023, I became a mother to a beautiful daughter and, after spending four months on maternity leave, I went back to work thinking I could just walk into my office and be the same professional I was before. I had no idea how challenging it would be to juggle motherhood and the career I’d worked so hard for, and how difficult getting to grips with my new routine would be within the first six months of returning.
According to That Works For Me, despite 98% of mums wanting to go back to work after they have children, only 13% think it’s viable on a full-time basis. Additionally, one study encompassing 134 countries, found that 15% of mothers do not return to the workforce for a decade, shining a true light on the “motherhood penalty.”
In truth, juggling everything can be exhausting. I was excited to be back at work, as I really wanted to feel like myself again. Little did I know that, to feel like me again, I needed to learn how to balance motherhood with work. Someone once told me that it takes a village to raise a child and I used to think that was a reference to friends and family. I now know that your workplace is part of that “village” and, without the appropriate support around you, it can be difficult to achieve that much needed balance.
Advocating for yourself
One of the first things I recommend on returning from maternity leave is learning how to advocate for yourself. While you may not want to be a bother to anyone, it’s important to be clear with your manager/employer on the arrangements you might need to be successful in both your existing role and your new role at home – as this may well be different to pre-maternity leave.
Advocating for yourself will mean different things to different people but, for me, it was ensuring that I was able to work flexibly, which my workplace was able to accommodate, while remaining agile and of course ensuring I could cater to the needs of my daughter. Ultimately, finding the right balance that worked all round was essential for protecting my mental health.
According to NHS England, more than 57,000 new and expectant mums have received specialist support for mental health problems over the last year, up a third on 2022. Around 600,000 women give birth in England every year and research shows perinatal mental illness affects up to one in five new and expectant mums.
Perinatal mental health illnesses are on the rise in the UK and, for those who return to the workplace within one year of becoming a new mum, it can have a lasting impact. For me personally, I had to acknowledge the fact that without focusing on finding the right balance that works for both my career and family life, I would not be able to continue with my work.
Requesting reasonable adjustments in the office
An important adjustment that I required was ensuring I had a nursing room to either feed my baby or to pump breastmilk. While some people may feel a little uncomfortable when breastfeeding is mentioned, it’s such a personal experience and was important to me, so I did not want to shy away from it. My employer provided me with a clean, secure, private and nice room, where I could have privacy to nurse my daughter. Having access to this alleviated a lot of stress for me.
Other reasonable adjustments you may want to request include things like flexible working, adjusted working hours or remote working days – essentially changes your employer may be able to make, to ensure you can effectively and successfully do your job.
Explore available networks for support
There may also be scope to join existing networks within your workplace, where you can meet likeminded people to get advice or share best practice. For example, I recently joined the Wellbeing Team within the school, with the aim of promoting and supporting the wellbeing of my colleagues.
We are currently in the process of finalising our wellbeing strategy for this year and we will be focusing, among other things, on how we can support parents who are returning to work from maternity/paternity leave. One of our primary objectives is to ensure that parents returning to work after having a baby are signposted to the right places where they can gather information about the support offered by the University.
The University also has a Women’s Voice network to drive gender equity on campus. The network hosts listening events for female colleagues, as well as awards to celebrate the achievements of both staff and students. Networks of this nature can be incredibly valuable, especially when it comes to connecting with likeminded colleagues and creating a sense of community.
Prioritise both your physical and mental health
It’s essential for us to look after ourselves, not only for us personally but also for our children, families and colleagues. When starting on this new and exciting journey, it’s vital to prioritise both our mental and physical health. It’s also important for us to be kind to ourselves, as juggling motherhood and a career can be difficult, and leaving your baby or toddler in the care of others can be hard. Being a professional who devotes a hundred percent of their attention to work when you have ‘parent guilt’ is tough, but there is support out there whether it’s through your workplace or the NHS that can help. Finally let’s remind ourselves, juggling motherhood with our careers is tough, so we need to go easy on ourselves.
Dr Svetlana Nasibyan, Lecturer in Law, University of Salford’s Business School.
September 2024