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Amelia Platton- My mental health journey
Even at a young age, I had a sense that something was wrong with me. At 11 years old, I began self-harming. I couldn’t connect with people and would retreat into myself, feeling at odds with the world. Everything felt overwhelming and nothing quite made sense. I developed anxiety very early on and would fake being ill to avoid school. I didn’t know how to cope, so I avoided everything.
When I got to university, things became even harder. I shut myself away and didn’t engage with anyone. Alongside my mental health challenges, I had undiagnosed autism. I spiralled into suicidal ideation and eventually started making attempts, feeling completely hopeless.
After graduating, I struggled to get a job. I applied widely but kept getting rejected, often without feedback when I disclosed my mental health conditions and dyspraxia diagnosis, or with comments that I didn’t seem like the “right fit.” I couldn't get huge law firms to implement even simple adjustments. Each rejection chipped away at my confidence. I knew I was capable, but it felt like I was constantly being misunderstood.
After 6 months, I finally secured my first successful training contract offer and surprisingly, I was also diagnosed as autistic. The timing was surreal. On paper, it looked like everything was falling into place. But internally, I was still carrying so much doubt, fear and exhaustion. The diagnosis brought clarity, but also grief and more anxiety. It explained everything I’d struggled with for years, but it also left me wondering why I’d had to deal with certain things and whether this was only going to get worse.
Despite the diagnosis, I continued to experience panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. When I started the LPC, I felt like the training contract was all I had left, so I planned to end my life if I failed it and lost the training contract. Even when I passed, I felt like it was luck. How could someone “like me” fit in at such a big law firm? At the first social, I remember sitting in the toilet crying for an hour, feeling like a fraud.
I had to work incredibly hard to manage my anxiety and push through in environments that still have a long way to go when it comes to the inclusion of neurodivergent people and people with mental health conditions. I'm a good lawyer, and I'm definitely not “fixed,” but now I have the right strategies and support in place.
How I manage
I went through a lot of treatment that wasn’t well suited to me. I spent a long time feeling helpless because nothing seemed to work. Even after my autism diagnosis, some people saw that as a problem to be“solved”rather than something to understand. But I definitely did need help managing things. I wouldn’t overcome my anxiety through willpower alone.
What helped me was finding the right therapist, one who took a neuro-affirmative approach. That changed everything. When your struggles are seen not as defects, but as valid responses because of how your brain operates, it’s easier to begin healing.
I also reformed my own mindset. I’d been driven by the need to get top grades, to work at the “best” firm, to prove my worth. I pushed myself relentlessly, measuring success in survival. But eventually, I asked: is this it?
I started doing more of what I actually enjoyed. I gave myself permission to want more than just getting through the day. That shift in focus was radical. It wasn’t easy to find spaces that felt affirming, especially as an autistic woman in law. But I found it through community.
I started sharing my experiences online. I built a network like no other: a mix of friends, mentors, neurodivergent professionals and advocates. For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was just in the wrong place. I realised that “community” for me doesn’t mean forcing yourself to fit. It means being seen. I don't always fit perfectly with my community, we are all very different people, but it works, and it helps me.
There is no “right” way to be autistic or depressed or anxious or anything. I had to radically accept myself, not just the parts that others found palatable, but all of me. That included accepting nuance and letting go of the idea that I could or should fix everyone’s opinions of me. Being autistic isn’t a tragedy, and it isn’t a superpower either. It’s a way of being that comes with both challenges and strengths. When I finally let go of the pre-conceived notion of how life was “supposed “to go, I started to feel ready to actually treat my mental health.
Suggestions I would give to those who struggle with mental health
Try a number of treatments and support routes. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it’ll work for you.
Know when you’ve reached your limit. Stepping back sometimes isn’t weakness; it's an acceptance that struggling shouldn't be your default position.
You can’t change society’s attitudes overnight. But you can find a community that helps you feel less alone while you do.
Don’t believe everything you hear about “what’s expected” in your profession. Neurodivergent people and those with mental health conditions are often given career advice steeped in outdated assumptions and biased interpretations of behaviour. Learn to use your discretion.
Someone else’s experience of autism or mental health doesn’t invalidate yours. You don’t need to prove your struggle to be taken seriously.
Community doesn't look the same for everyone. Sometimes it's a bunch of introverts on the internet, sometimes it's family, sometimes it's people you have nothing in common with at all. Find what works for you.
Amelia Platton
Founder-The ND Lawyer Project
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amelia-platton-209a2b196/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/theneurodiverselawyerproject/